A New Appreciation for Hoosier Hospitality

Things are getting back to normal here after my Florida vacation. I went to visit my sister, who lives in the Keys. The weather was perfect, and a great time was had.

One thing that was disappointing to me was my visit to The Key West Winery. They specialize in "fine tropical wines" which made me curious to taste some. Their wine list was interesting, and included some unique, if perhaps inappropriate, selections. But really, how often does one get to try carrot wine? Or tangerine champagne? Or tomato jalapeno?

When I arrived one afternoon to taste, there were two ladies being assisted, so I browsed around first. After the ladies completed their tastings, I went up to the counter and asked for the wine list.

"We don't have one. Just look around, find out what you want to taste, and come back. I'll pour it then."

Really? Whoever heard of a winery not having a list for customers? I've been to wineries with four wines, and even they still had a printed list. Still, I looked.

Upon looking, I was even more frustrated this winery did not have a wine list. If I was browsing the racks of a regular winery, I could keep the Cabs and Rieslings straight. But this winery, with its guava, watermelon, and banana offerings, made that impossible. Still, I managed to find three varieties I thought would be good to try.

And that is when I realized why there is no wine list, because now there was a line at the counter. It was a clever and subtle way to get you to cut back on your tastings by feeling rushed. This was a new concept to me. I've been to wineries in tourist traps before, but those tourist traps are tourist traps because of the wine industry. This was a winery built to satisfy tourists looking for something exotic (and many of the tourists were on shore leave from the cruise ships). In this place, the goal is not to encourage contemplation on the wine, but to encourage you to plunk down money for some fruit wine you've never had before and get the hell out. The fact they had only one person behind the counter, and an unfriendly one at that, only made the experience less pleasant.

Still, I persisted, and upon getting to the front, selected only three wines for tasting, since there were people behind me. I can't remember what I tried, but think it might have been banana, orange, and lime. The wine was served in the tiniest plastic cups I have ever seen. The pour was so small one couldn't get a second sip. When I tried to smell the wine, all I could smell was the plastic from the cup.

And the taste? The wines I tried tasted like watered down Schnapps, and were not pleasant at all.

I should also note than none of the wines retailed south of $18.

However, what irritated me the most was the advice the counter help gave to customers on how to break Key West's open container law. While many people think you are able to carry a drink down the street like one can in New Orleans, Key West forbids this, and has started to become more aggressive in enforcing it. This should have been carefully explained, but was not. Instead, the customers were advised to keep the bottle in their purse and "just be discreet."

After hearing that, I was done. While this put a crimp in my plans to buy several souvenirs for those back home, I was fine with it.

On the flip side, I am even more appreciative of the hospitality I encounter each and every time I go into an Indiana winery. I don't feel rushed, I don't get shorted on tastings, and I don't hear winemakers encouraging old ladies to risk arrest.

One final, amusing, note. When I toured the bottles, what did I find around nearly every wine? A medal from the Indy Wine Competition. I guess I should be thrilled, but this only reinforced my earlier thoughts about these medals.